It’s not that Mother’s Day is stressful, but rather your thoughts and actions make it stressful. Do you even realize how much extra pressure you place on yourself at this time?
Here are some examples, but remember that each involves thoughts and actions.
Spending every waking and sleeping moment with thoughts like “I’ve got so much to do”, “How am I going to get it done?”, “I have to make sure that it’s perfect”.
Stressing over the need to buy very expensive presents when they are beyond your means.
Going crazy with credit card spending, and then worrying how to pay the bills.
Using every spare moment to race around to different stores to find one particular napkin, or exceptionally special gifts for your mother, because it just has to be perfect.
Worrying constantly about what gifts to get, then procrastinating until the last moment so you do all your shopping on the night before Mother’s Day.
Planning to prepare a feast fit for a king when there are only five or six relatives coming.
Fussing and worrying about every detail throughout the day so you don’t even get to sit down and enjoy the meal.
Can you see how that person is creating the stress and making their life so much more difficult? Can you see how they are doing it to themselves?
You need to get a clear picture of the things you do and think about, that make you rush around and overload your mind, before you can change it. Some people know what they do, can make a clear list and work right through it alone, others cannot. Do what feels right for you.
If you seriously wish to de-stress Mother’s Day but aren’t aware how to change things, you might need to enlist the help of a friend or relative for this one, but it is well worth it.
Start a conversation with someone you feel comfortable with, saying how you have decided to de-stress Mother’s Day, but would like a third person’s perspective to help you firstly recognize the things you do to create more stress for yourself, and then to find ideas to make it easier, that you can feel comfortable with.
I can tell you now that your friend has been waiting to say something to you for years, but didn’t want to offend or hurt you. They will be excited to help you work this out.
Make a list of your Mother’s Day mind chatter (“it has to be perfect”), what you really want to achieve (“buy the best presents for your mother”), what you normally do (“spend every waking moment working on Mother’s Day preparations”), and how the holiday experience makes you feel (“stressed or disappointed that it wasn’t good enough”).
Now that you have your list, take a day or two to think about its contents. Do you want to have this particular Mother’s Day experience again this year? Or can you imagine a Mother’s Day experience that makes you smile from the inside out?
It is time to decide what you want for your Mother’s Day experience, and then make clear, stress-less plans to achieve it. If you are embarrassed to bring this topic up with a friend or relative, just make it a general one, perhaps an idea to stop stressing over holidays, for the sake of everyone in the family.
You may just find yourself smiling this Mother’s Day, for the first time in many, many years!