Ten years ago, on the 17th of March, 1992, while attending a business course, I wrote a letter. It was a letter to remind myself of what I deserve. It was a letter to feel, write then put away for the perfect time.
I have traveled across the world, and moved nearly a dozen times since writing that letter, yet it appeared out of the blue recently for the first time. It filled me with a smile.
This letter was a vision quest for my future. Speaking of all the things I deserve in my life, not might’s or could be’s, or wants or needs, but things I deserve because I, like everyone else on this planet was a unique and special person.
It spoke of a soul mate, and what this person will be to me, the little girl within, and her finding peace and love, of my personal needs, home and finances. Finding success in any business venture I seek to undertake. And it finished with love, saying it will be love that surrounds me in my future world.
I have come a long way in those 10 years. I have faced and overcome much pain and hardship. Four years ago, I made the decision to face all my hurts and fears, and remove them from my being so I could become the person I so desperately longed to be. Myself, without all the restrictions and limitations my fear beliefs placed on me. I wanted to be free to be me. To feel and express and live my life spontaneously, to learn and create the person and life I knew was possible. To find peace, and happiness, and love.
It has been a exceptionally special journey. A journey of self-discovery as I call it. And what I have discovered is beyond all imagination. We humans are incredible beings.
Hidden within us is this amazing wealth of ability, intellect and knowledge. I am no different from any other person, so when I speak of myself, I smile and know I refer to all of us.
I have watched with awe as, by allowing myself to feel a simple event and emotion, this unheard story is discovered, telling me all that has confused and scared me. All the reasoning and understanding behind who and what I am. The events leading to the creation of beliefs about me and my place in the world, which then created my perception, behavior and reactions. I began to see how I became the person I was. I began to understand myself for the first time in all my lives.
Once I allowed and gave myself permission to feel all that was stored within my being, the good, the bad and the ugly, I discovered there is no good, bad or ugly. There is no right or wrong, there is no better or worse. There are merely events, which lead to experiences, to be felt deeply and held onto within our minds, bodies and psyche.
Then as I had facilitated the experience of feeling and being each event, I no longer needed to hold onto the hurts and fears, for they had now been experienced so were finished with. A natural progression occurred whereby I automatically knew how to release them completely. I developed a method to locate, feel, experience, release with breathing, then replace each held onto negative belief of myself and the world with a special one that I taught myself. Of who and what I really was, a very special being undertaking a very special journey of living.
I learned the secret of experience, and it makes me smile from the inside out. Each and every experience is to have and build upon the previous. So that when the time is right we can pull them all together and discover why we are who we are. We can learn to understand ourselves. Then we open to the opportunity each one creates, to learn from the deepest part within us, its opposite.
To experience sadness so we may know joy, to experience loneliness so we may know ourselves, to experience fear so we may know peace, strength and that we are safe, self condemnation so we may discover each and every unique and special component of ourselves. To experience abuse and lack of love, so we may be driven to search for answers and teach ourselves what love really is.
To feel is but one part of this journey, for to feel is to trigger thought and intellect. The desire to understand and rationalize until logical reasoning is achieved, putting all the pieces together. When that is reached in our mind, a majikal event occurs. It is like our mind continually grows in ability and comprehension, then when the precise level is achieved, previously unthought-of of new knowing flows from our inner being. As if opening a door to previously inaccessible knowledge and ability. An ever flowing river of knowing.
My books, which inspire my one-to-one work with people, are my way of sharing this journey, and a direct reflection of those amazing abilities we humans comprise.
I have come from a past of being a person who lived a life of fear and restriction, of continual drama and heartache, a person who now seems but a dream, unrecognizable to me. To become the woman I am today; self assured, capable, strong, calm, peaceful and filled with love energy.
And now I step into my future person. Just as I could ponder and journey back into old experiences, I do the same with future ones. I have discovered what makes me smile from the inside out, what I desire in my life and to experience. I have clarified what I want and I feel it deeply.
An interesting thing was said to me once. That whatever we do and achieve effects all those we are connected to. I can see how that is possible and could be the reasoning behind the concept of hope.
I envisage possible futures and they become my dream, my hope. Others join my vision and by combining their strengths and assets with mine, a team is formed increasing the energy to make that vision become reality. Participation results in each person witnessing the creation of a new aspect of themselves. My success then becomes the seed of hope and possibility within them, to grow and flourish. And what I experience then learn creates new knowledge to aid their quest.
I have always been one to do things other people hesitate to, yet they always comment how I speak or act on their behalf. The only reason I am able to do such things is because I am surrounded by the dearest connections.
People appear from nowhere to help, support and motivate me, almost like they come to ensure my success in whatever I am attempting. It has always given me great comfort and strength. I then go onto reach for the unreachable. My son and I recently became permanent residents of the United States of America. My new home and the land and people I love.
They watch my personal work and life circumstance changes with great enthusiasm. They go out of their way to inspire me. In doing so, they inspire themselves. By aiding me, they give themselves hope, for what can be, and achieved. They see what I do and teach themselves, thinking perhaps I can do that too. We each see the results and learn that possibilities are boundless. We can each do and be whatever our hearts desire.
I had always thought myself singular, with my dreams, aspirations and achievement only relating to me. But they do not. They are shared by us all because we all combine to create and be part of them.
It is time to manifest a future reality. To visit then write of each aspect of this new life, to clarify then claim it as real. To then send it forth into the world knowing all who will share my journey are waiting to come forward and join this quest.
I know my vision quest is not in isolation. I know other people are to be involved as much as I in creating it. It belongs to all of us. We will each have a role so we grow and prosper; some as motivators, companions, helpers, to join my work, begin their own journey of self-discovery, or help facilitate the material aspects. We will create a new reality and life for all of us to take part in. I look forward to sharing this next stage of my journey with all I meet.
We all come together to discover and grow and succeed!